Post by IMS (VP of Schenanigans) on Feb 14, 2024 9:50:01 GMT 1
Post #1337 bitches. I'm a 1337 motherfucker! Fuck 1,000 post n00b celebrations. I'm on another plain. Fuck that. I'm on a plane. I'm flying high above all the n00b Electric Eye 1,000 post celebrations. I'm up in first class popping pills & swilling Cristal straight from the bottle while fucking hot stewardesses and the rest of the plane's passengers are all cheering me on! I'm looking down on Electric Eyeland through a fuselage window and casting all my sexually battered and worn-out stewardesses aside and thrusting into the next willing airborne wench. They are all icing down their freshly frosted and orgasmed out vaginas and begging for more of what I just gave them. A very fatigued but still very hot stewardess is crying in the galley because she really wants but can't handle any more of my huge dong and if you listen closely, you can hear her repeating over and over, "I have had it with the Knäves motherfucking long assed one-eyed trouser snake on this motherfucking plane." So, what am I going to do now? I'm going to motherfucking Electric Eyeland!
- A 1337 Knäve *ech*
- A 1337 Knäve *ech*
- Ride a knockoff of the finest in Canadian public transit past "Mount PWNED" to Electric EyeLand's entrance (Masturbation during the ride is encouraged).
- The Garage of Repair, Partying, and Dismemberment (Under New Ownership).
- Lost & Found Limbs Customer Service Shed.
- Entrance Tunnel of Pop-Up Ads.
- The Spoogie and Electric Eyeballz Awards Hall of Fame.
- The endless thread to nowhere ride. (pants optional).
- The Shania Twainsaw Massacre Prison Escape Room.
- Pedobear Kids Playland.
- Fake Snake Plastic Snakes 4 Sale Stand.
- The Uber Driving Experience (counting Tesla's is encouraged).
- Punch therealgws in the face for $5 Street Party Stand.
- A hill to get high on.
- Bathrooms (w/ glory hole audience participation shows several times a day).
- The Down2Whiskey cutout bin record store (Only accepts donations & GoFundMe payments).
- The Canadian Mall Food Court (During Covid) Experience (Accepts Canadian dollars only).
- The heenansnuka Quiz Show of Inappropriate Questions.
- The DemonFilth2001 (VP Recruiting) shitty convenience store food & mechanically separated fast-food factory tour.
- Dickety-Dee... it's a Rax (Hotsauce condiment is no longer available)
- suckit 's "Fuck You Customer Service Desk & Foam Thumbs Up 4 Sale" stand.
- Boll Weevils red towel & fleshlights stand.
- Ron Keel the Metal Cowboy Meet & Greet.
- Where in the World is Pr0sthetics Mexican Drug Lord Adventure.
- Parisian style street urinal.
- The Deathsquad & Demongods Post-Apocalyptic Flamethrower Mary-Go-Round (Now closed due to lack of record sales & interest).
- psychobolia (the other French guy) meet & greet. (Closed if Morrissey, Duran Duran or Depeche Mode are playing in town).
- The Ron Burgunfeces & Aristocrat with you in the middle eiffeling "ride" & Badass Fitness Bitch critique & qualification zone.
- The Hall of Animatronic Naked First Ladies (Temporarily closed by order of *ech* )
- *ech* 's badly stage lit wax museum of whoever is playing in town tonight (Photography required but no crowd shots plz).
- The French Maid Fetish Clothing Shop. An all-inclusive boutique featuring gender neutral French Maid uniforms & dresses available for gender neutral dollars.
- A clothing shop full of uniforms from all the armies that have defeated France (Buy a complete military uniform and *ech* & psychobolia will personally surrender to you & present you with a surrendered to certificate of accomplishment).
- The Ladyboy Butt Pirates of the Gulf of Thailand "Ride".
- theglammerthebetter Institute for Cultural Diversity & Movie Review Writing.
- The Nasty Habits Slide into Addiction.
- theglammerthebetter "Theatre of Pain" that only shows shit recorded free on his TV.
- The Sex Farm Bestiality "Ride".
- MUKBANG TANGO™ 2020 Coaster Challenge.
- IMS's Snowball Fight the Ride.
- The girl jeans & 80's band clothes dodgy shed boutique.
- The Ron Burgunfeces Tribute Band Stage.
- Open air toilets for non-VIP attendees.
- VIP only lounge & porta-potties.
- Legal Briefs Underwear Boutique. Tighty-whiteys fit for the aristocracy.
- The Ron Burgunfeces shitty VR non-porn & unfun exercise adventure.
- The Aristocrat "Block by Block" (Block X Block) club (Features mostly shitty band music being played that you are not cool enough to get) also has a dumpster and alley themed VIP room for sexual degenerates w/ bank.
